my messed up life...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I couldnt take it anymore. I dun have the strength to pursue my dreams, but I didnt want to give it up. Family, friends, school work... Too much... Im sinking down.. Been taking panadols these few days again. Panadols are the only thing I could depend on, it makes me drowsy, makes me forget about things. I can only blame myself for being so weak, so weak that she calls u a rotten apple and treat u invisibly. Was doing the projects, but really couldnt take it. Saw an objrct which could be the key to my freedom and happiness, but i really not brave enough to pick it up, although it may only take a few seconds. Apple is dead.... FOREVER FOREVER FOREVER...

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dreaming;
4:00 PM;

Thursday, May 08, 2008

It seems to another sem of hell. Im going crazy. Maybe I should really see the doctor. Just who am I? Why am I not respected? Thankful that this sem hav only a big project if I am not wrong. She is the queen, Im the servant. She can get angry anytime, and vent her anger on anyone, but what can I do, I am the object which she vent her anger on. Im nobody. Im going crazy!!! Everyday I have to bear with her, but I really cant take it anymore. I hate my life!! But who can I blame? I am the one who make all the decisions, I have to bear with the consequences of these decisions. Panadols and beer are the only way I could thought of to numb my feelings. Really tired...

Going to work tmr. Sianx... Have to learn closing tomorrow and close tomorrow. Argh!!! Hate it.. Hate it.. Two of my sprees item from taiwan has arrived. Happy happy :) Hope these items make me happy. I love shopping online :p I must smile n be strong. I wont let u get ur way.

dreaming;
1:39 PM;